Are you considering a destination wedding? Are you planning to ask friends and family to attend or participate in your destination wedding? Are you wondering whether it's selfish to plan a destination wedding? If your answer to any of these questions is "yes," read on!

If you are like most couples, your wedding is the ultimate celebration and start to your future life together. You expect it to be a 'once-in-a-lifetime' experience. For this reason, I hope you won't settle for anything less than your ideal - including your ideal location.

Apart from the obvious lure of gorgeous destinations and the chance to travel to a locale where neither of you has been, you may have practical reasons for planning a destination wedding. First of all, it's a Darwinian approach to paring the guest list! It may eliminate countless headaches concerning who to invite and who not to invite. Usually, only those who are especially close to a couple will travel a long distance for their wedding. But this is true even for those couples who marry in the country where the majority of their guests reside.

Guests who can't afford the expense of traveling to a destination wedding often find other ways to participate in the big occasion. Some throw wedding showers and many attend pre and post wedding festivities. You can take special care to make sure those who can't attend the wedding are involved in other ways. You can also throw an 'after wedding' party to celebrate with those who can't make it to the wedding.

Brides and grooms some times pay for the travel and lodging expenses of those people they especially want in attendance. This might include members of your wedding party, parents, siblings and grandparents. If your wedding is small, and destination weddings often are - these travel and lodging expenses may not be much greater than the costs you would incur by having a large wedding in your hometown.

Some couples elope. In this case, a destination wedding makes complete sense. Eloping omits lengthy, expensive and often contentious wedding planning. It insures privacy and secrecy - if that's what you want. Under these circumstances, a destination wedding is more likely to be a destination ceremony. Maybe the secrecy of elopement and the destination itself will provide you with the feeling of private celebration you desire. In this case guests aren't wanted! You can have an 'after party' later - when you're ready to announce your marriage.

There are few occasions in life as momentous as getting married, and there are few celebrations that hold as much meaning as weddings. No couple wants to look back on their wedding day with regret. If you are like most couples, your wedding is an event that you've anticipated for a long time. It is an occasion invested with all your hopes and dreams for the future.

Those who care about you will hopefully put their own needs and wishes on the back burner. True friends are those who support you even when it means they have to sacrifice something to make you happy. I choose to believe that those people who show up for destination weddings are true believers. They believe in romance, in marriage and in the union of the two people whose marriage they come to celebrate.

Johanna Nauraine is a professional coach with a virtual practice. She specializes in premarital, marital and divorce therapy.