Divorce marks a crisis point in a person’s life. The reverberations from this loss can last for many years. For this reason, it’s important to approach divorcing thoughtfully. Divorce coaching can help couples separate in a manner that has the least likelihood of causing long term pain for themselves and their children. Deciding to engage in divorce coaching that facilitates mutual introspection, can help both partners take responsibility for their part in the breakdown of the relationship and come to terms with why their marriage failed.
When only one partner wants to end a marriage, there can be anger or hurt feelings on the part of the partner who’s being left behind. Some couples become engaged in a process of mutual accusation and blame, which leads to intense emotional turmoil in both their lives and in the lives of their children. It is not uncommon for children whose parents are divorcing, to exhibit emotional or behavioral symptoms related to the conflict between their parents, and fears and anxiety regarding the imminent divorce. Coaching helps parents be aware of and sensitive to their children’s feelings and encourages partners to develop a collaborative approach to managing their children’s fears, expectations and sadness.
If one partner wants a divorce because they have been having an affair, the divorce may drag on for some time as the partner who’s being rejected, acts out their anger through delay tactics. This often gets played out through arguments over the allocation of financial resources or child custody. Divorce coaching can help couples express their upset feelings constructively and begin to plan wisely in terms of financial considerations. It can also enable divorcing partners to act in their children’s best interests, rather than expressing their anger through a tug of war over custody and visitation arrangements, which inevitably puts their children in the middle.
I’ve had extensive experience working with women who are anticipating or going through the trauma of divorce. Women often have little experience managing the financial aspect of their lives, especially if they’ve been stay-at-home moms. Divorce can be a scary prospect if a woman has been out of the work- place for some time. Also, women frequently end up being the person their children turn to for comfort and support, during a divorce. Their children's emotional needs can feel overwhelming to a woman who is suddenly confronted with being a single parent. Divorce coaching offers women an opportunity to obtain guidance about how to protect themselves and their children. A coach can be more than a sympathetic ear - they can be an experienced guide, helping a woman anticipate challenges they will face post divorce and helping them navigate the uncertain terrain of being a single parent.
Divorced women are often scared and uncertain about re-entering the dating world again - especially if they feel wounded by the divorce. Divorce coaching can help women develop skills in assessing potential dating partners, learn to set boundaries that enable self protection, and make wise decisions regarding when to introduce a new partner to their children.